It's Magic!
by Tensai55
Summary: APH/HP x-over, kind of. England is sick and tired of America always making fun of him for believing in magic! Luckily, he happens to have a magical castle that should show that git who's right once and for all...


**It's Magic!**

_By: Tensai55_

"Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic."

-Arthur C. Clarke

...

That was the last straw! There was no way England could ignore such a blatant challenge. He was going to prove that git wrong once and for all! If anything could convince the git that magic was real, it was Hogwarts. And with that thought in mind, he signed the letter and tied it to the leg of Merlin, his owl.

"Please take this to Albus Dumbledore." England instructed. The owl hooted softly and flew out the open window. England smirked as he leaned back in his desk chair. He could already hear America's embarrassed apology...

...

"So, were are we going, Arthur?" America asked cheerfully, almost bouncing in place in anticipation of the trip.

England eyed his former colony warily, wondering just how much coffee America had consumed on his flight over. It was only a three hour flight, surely he couldn't have drank that much. "I wanted to show you one of my more prestigious boarding schools." England began.

"Aww!" America groaned. "You invited me over to go to _school_?"

England's eyebrow twitched in irritation, though to be honest, this was not exactly an unexpected response. "Yes, considering what I've heard about some of your schools, I thought that perhaps you could use some advice."

"That's alright, Arthur." America said. "How 'bout we go watch a movie instead."

England gritted his teeth and tried not to lose his temper. "You git, do you have any idea how many favours I had to call in to get this visit? And they only agreed because school won't be in session while we are there."

America blinked. England could practically hear the rusty gears in his head turning. "Arthur," America said slowly, looking as though he was dealing with a particularly dense idiot, "it's your country. Why can't you visit any time you want?"

England rolled his eyes. "I can visit anytime I want, however, you can only visit because I arranged for it."

"Oh," America said, "but that's alright, we can just watch a movie instead." He grinned cheekily at the older nation.

"No." England said firmly. "We are going to Hogwarts if I have to drag you there!"

"...Hogwarts?" America repeated sceptically. "Sounds like a disease."

England blustered angrily. "Hogwarts is the name of a herb*, you twit!"

"Whatever, it's still weird." America countered childishly.

(Grammar note for those who care about these things: 'herb' in British English - to my understanding anyway - is pronounced with a 'hard' H. Meaning the preceding article would be 'a' instead of 'an' like in American English.)

...

As the pair approached the castle, England was thankful that nations were immune to muggle repelling wards thanks to the magic that allowed them to survive for centuries (to even exist at all for that matter). It was already difficult to get America to go where he didn't want to as it was. Interestingly enough, once America caught sight of the castle he quit dragging his heels. That is, it was curious until England remembered his former colony's fascination with Archaeology - a trait that was at odds with the fact that America rarely seemed to care about any history other than his own.

"It's in a castle? That's so cool!" The impulsive nation exclaimed, his sky-blue eyes shone with enthusiasm.

England smiled indulgently, he should have known America would love it. "Yes, the school was established in the eleventh century and has kept all of its original furnishings."

"The eleventh century?" America repeated in shock. "I didn't know there were schools back then!" The youth's eyes widened behind his frames as the blue orbs brightened in excitement.

England chuckled, "It was the first of its kind and remains the only one of its kind in the United Kingdom."

"Its kind?" The younger nation cocked his head to the side. "Is it s'posed to be some special kind of school or somethin'?"

"It's a magic school." England said patiently, certain the American was going to laugh.

Sure enough, England found himself on the receiving end of a bemused, disbelieving stare. "...You're kidding, right?" America asked as they reached the lake.

"No, I'm not." England replied calmly. At least the boy hadn't started laughing as of yet.

The boy opened his mouth, probably to make some asinine comment, but yelped instead as a tentacle wrapped around him and picked him up. "Wah! Arthur-!" The rest of what he was saying was lost as the giant squid began to wave the terrified nation around.

England couldn't help but laugh, but then, he knew that the silly boy wouldn't get hurt. His amusement was cut short as he saw the American reaching for the revolver he always kept on his person. England hurriedly cast a spell which _should_ have made the giant squid gently set America down on the shore. Instead the large sea creature actually tossed the nation in the general direction of the shore. Luckily for the American, he landed in the shallows of the lake where it was still deep enough to cushion his fall (and that England hadn't been able to react fast enough to try and catch him with magic). Sputtering, the boyish nation waded out of the lake and shook his gun at the squid.

"Yeah, you better leave!" He shouted threateningly, apparently oblivious to the fact that it was England that had 'rescued' him from the deep sea creature. Then the boy turned to England, "What the hell are you doing keeping such a dangerous animal close to the school for?" Then he paused for a moment and added, "How does it even manage to survive in fresh water anyway?"

England smirked at the wet nation. "Magic, of course. And it's part of the castle's defences."

"Why would you need a frickin' squid to protect a school?" America asked pointedly. He apparently had decided not to question magic being the reason for a saltwater animal surviving in a freshwater lake. "How much does it cost to feed it anyway? There's no way that lake has enough fish to support a squid of that size."

England groaned in exasperation. Leave it to America to nitpick on scientific details, even if the boy normally pretended ignorance in such things. "I don't know, Alfred. Likely, they buy fish to stock the lake."

America nodded his understanding, apparently satisfied with the logical answer. "So, let's see this castle!" He beamed at England before grabbing the elder nation's hand and virtually dragged him to the front steps of the castle.

Upon entering the Great Hall, the pragmatic nation immediately noticed the unique ceiling. "Woah! That's sweet!" He exclaimed excitedly. "Where'd you hide the projector at?"

England huffed in exasperation, "It's not a projector, you git. It's an enchantment that allows you to view the outside sky."

America just rolled his eyes at his former brother. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to." As he continued to examine the ceiling, the nation exclaimed, "I've gotta get one of these for myself! This is so awesome!" Squinting at the view, the oblivious nation's eyes widened. "Holy shit! It's even in 3-D!"

England huffed, irritated, but the clueless nation was saved from the Briton's sharp tongue by an ancient man approaching them. "Ah, hello. You must be Mr. Jones." The elderly wizard shook the American's hand. "Sir Kirkland, it's always a pleasure to see you."

"A pleasure to see you as well, headmaster." England returned cordially. "Alfred, this is Albus Dumbledore, the headmaster of Hogwarts."

"Now then, Sir Kirkland said you wished for a tour around our humble castle." Albus Dumbledore said cheerfully, his light blue eyes twinkling as they were wont to do.

"I'm sure Arthur could show me around if you're busy, sir." America said with more poise and decorum than Arthur expected from the cheeky boy. "After all, it seems as though he's familiar with the school."

The headmaster chuckled, "Indeed, as he should be. Sir Kirkland has often filled in when we have a teaching opening that cannot be adequately filled."

"...You teach, Iggy?" America asked disbelievingly.

England sputter indignantly, "I taught you to read and write, didn't I?" Then he added, "I only fill in when the headmaster cannot find any teachers and when my schedule allows for it."

Professor Dumbledore asked, "Sir Kirkland, would you like to give the tour or would you prefer for-"

"Oh, I'll do it." England interrupted. "I might as well, seeing as I'm imposing on you enough as it is."

That settled, the headmaster went on his way and the two nations headed for the rest of the castle. As England had expected, the moving staircases immediately captured America's attention. "They move? Isn't that inconvenient?" The taller nation commented, not fazed in the slightest by the movement.

"It can be," England replied, well aware that moving staircases are not that strange in a world with modern mechanics. "But there are certain floors that can only be reached from the main staircase when all the right stairs are aligned."

"Huh." America gave the massive staircases a pondering look. "Wouldn't it have been easier to install escalators?"

England was saved from answering when one of the portraits spoke up, "Young man, what is this escalator you speak of?" England watched in amusement as the American whirled to find who had spoken. The nation opened his mouth, likely to inquire as to whom had spoken when the portrait spoke up again. "Over here, young man. Really, youth these days." It was a portrait of a portly elderly man that was clearly affronted at being ignored.

When America's eyes landed on the painting, he immediately headed over to it and began inspecting the frame and its moorings. "Wow, I'd heard Kiku was working on a virtual program that'll interact with you, but I didn't know he'd finished it!" Ignoring the painting's sputtering, the youthful nation continued to inspect the painting. "Damn, this is a great screen. You can't even see the pixels! It really looks like an actual portrait!"

England buried his face in his hands. Perhaps this was doomed from the start. The entire trip continued in this fashion. Every time they came across magic of any kind, America had a technological explanation. The ghosts were holograms and the suits of armor were robots. England was about at his wit's end. Even the Whomping Willow was dismissed as an animatronic tree ("That's nothing, you should see Lucky the dinosaur. Now that's animatronics!"). At the conclusion of the tour, England had to give it up as a lost cause. America just didn't have a proper imagination.

As they left the castle, England was surprised when America turned and said, "That was actually a lot of fun, Iggy. I had no idea you had so much technology!" The boy's large blue eyes shone with enthusiasm. Despite not convincing the American that magic was real, it was apparent that the trip had managed to raise America's regard towards his former ruler.

"I'm glad you enjoyed it, Alfred." England replied hesitantly. He supposed he should be happy that America had found the trip enjoyable at the very least.

"I wonder if I could manage to set up a projector for my ceiling too. That was pretty neat." America remarked absently, his mind clearly lost in the world of inventions and innovations. England felt one of his large eyebrows tick as the American continued to think out loud about the technicalities of England's "technologies."

...

One year later

"Hey Arthur! Guess what?" America exclaimed over the phone as soon as the Briton picked up.

"Yes, Alfred. Hello to you too." England sighed, having long given up on correcting his former colony's phone etiquette.

"It did it!" The American exclaimed as soon as England quit speaking. "I finally figured it out!"

"...Did what?" England asked hesitantly, not sure if he wanted to know.

"The ceiling of my living room is now a 3-D representation of the sky directly above my house!" America burst out excitedly, clearly expecting praise for having figured it out without any help from England.

England just stood still for a moment, more than a little shocked by this revelation. Then after a long moment, he hung up without bothering to say anything. Ignoring his telephone ringing, he went to the kitchen to fix some tea - he needed comfort food right now.


End file.
